i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
