Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
