thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
