I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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