Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's get the cat blown out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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