He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
