belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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