I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
