my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
