just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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