I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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