from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
