Cold hands, warm shart.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
