Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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