theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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