I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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