I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
