I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize