all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
