Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
