nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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