addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize