I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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