ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
