hell yes lets make some ravioli
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
