I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
