We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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