He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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