forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
