I'm lost and stupid without you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
