yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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