I wish I only lived at night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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