I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
