She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
