I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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