he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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