I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize