How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
