walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
