The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
