We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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