I hate all girls vehemently.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i think my cat just said my name.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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