I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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