I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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