i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
