guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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