Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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