We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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