was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
