would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She needs sedatives and a leash
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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