My hand turned me down
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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