Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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