My Higher Power is John Stamos
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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