So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
