i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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