i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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