Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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