JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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