its not stalking. its research.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
