I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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