why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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