What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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