I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
