Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
