Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
