he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
